The Mother Mafia

I'm taking a writing class and I'm surprised how often my instructor brings up the fact that she has a kid. She uses the kid angle in many of her articles...it's been a way for her (besides her scads of natural talent) to get into a number of publications, drum up interest in her subjects, publish a book, etc.

Being childless by choice myself, I know my irritation-o-meter started going off the mintue she launched into a discussion of how hard it was to get her kid into a good summer camp...but I was trying to ignore it. I'm not a mother but had a hand in co-parenting one and I know it is all encompassing...and I've had many quirky and funny experiences as a result. Still, when I heard this mom begin to discuss about how she'd connected with some editors and publishers at her kid's playschool, my blood began to boil. She has an 'in' in the industry that I never will have...she's cracked the Mother Mafia.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a hit squad...but rather an old-girls club where ovaries are de rigor and knowledge of how to get a kid car seat in and out of a Volkswagon bug is required. Just like golf partners help each other get into inner corporate eschelons, pre-school and play date buddy mothers have special access to each other...the kind of access that translates into cash money...or plumb assignments at the very least.

Anne Lamott, my great writing hero, has , in my non-maternal opinion, way too much to say about her kid. Ever read her on Salon? The column was called "Mother's who think" and her child is her constant touch stone, confidant, ally, rock. No one I know had that kind of relationship with their mother. Dear loved one, yes, muse, maybe, but the subject of more than half of her columns? It begins to stretch the bounds of belief.

Just last week I came across a neighbor who is fairly well connected in literary circles. She's a blogger, teacher and writer. Her work is widely published, international even. Her topic? Kids, pregnancy, traveling with babies, adoption, good pre-schools, blah, blah , blah. Her writing groups and professional contacts all reference her status as a Mommy...so I've got nothing in common with her . And you can bet that once her kids grow up and out, her fellow mother associates will consider her part of their prefered coterie. How can I compete with that... my status will be no higher than that of a man!

I mean...what about women who thought the better of this pro-creation thing and who now have more disposable income? Or women who just plain don't like kids? Or women who can't have kids? Or women who had kids, regretted it and don't find the waiting period between birth and college a magical time?

This baby/kid lit field seems to be overtaking self-help and relationship books as the new publishing darling of women-centered literature.

And here I sit (with my underutilized ovaries) on the sidelines looking in.